The Longing Lab
Do you ever find yourself so fixated on longing that you can’t enjoy the present? Longing for a lover, an exotic destination, a lost loved one, or a past time in your life? The Longing Lab takes a deeper look at the science of longing and the culture that drives us to long for what we don’t have. You can expect insightful conversations with individuals uniquely qualified to talk about longing. Host, Amanda McCracken, has written or spoken about her own addiction to longing in national publications like the New York Times, Washington Post, & the BBC. The goal of the Longing Lab is to inspire individuals to make positive changes in their lives. Look for her book, When Longing Becomes Your Lover (Hachette), in fall of 2025!
The Longing Lab
Valentine Special: My husband Dave Butler on relationships, intimacy, and vulnerability
Episode 9: In this Valentine’s Day special, Dave speaks with Amanda about how their relationship developed from meeting to getting married, the pivotal moments during their 11-month-courtship, and the importance of seeing a couple’s therapist.
Dave Butler is my husband, life partner, and the father of our child Moorea. He is also an environmental scientist, project manager, and geologist. Originally from Long Island, Dave was a drummer in a NYC-based band called Nuclear Cream Cheese. He is an ultra mountain trail runner, a New York Yankees fan, and a reformed Catholic.
In this episode, (in order) we talked about…
*How longing transpires in our lives
*How we met each other before we really met each other
*The questionable rebound zone
*Our first date and our first kiss (his firsts in 20 years)
*His “freedom tour" plan following his divorce
*Communicating versus playing games in relationships (work or personal)
*How he first met my parents and grandma in Ohio without me
*His first response to learning I was a 40-year-old virgin
*Visiting our respective therapists together in the first two months of dating
*Our four-day trip to Paris
*The moments we revealed our love for each other in spoken and written word
*Our response to having sex for the first time together
*The marriage proposal
*Why we see a therapist once a month
*Dangers and benefits in comparing past relationships
*Advice he’ll give our daughter on love and relationships
Let's connect: www.amandajmccracken.com